Religious hypocrisy

If there is one thing that is difficult for me to tolerate, it’s religious hypocrisy. This is something that we see everywhere every day, unfortunately. It’s so rampant and so common that a lot of people have gotten to the point where it’s not even a big deal for them anymore. Well, it’s a big deal for me. I think if you’re going to get on your high horse about your religion and portray yourself as a follower of a religion in the public eye, then I think it’s kind of important to actually abide by the rules of your religion. Ya know, like not stealing or killing people or eating a forbidden food on a holy day. But maybe that’s just me? Dunno. I would like to think that religious hypocrisy would bother other people, too.

I bring this up because, recently, I asked a relative for forgiveness for a wrong I did to her last year. This was a small thing. It was not a crime or a sin or a social taboo. It was just something I did because she got me mad and refused to have respect for my boundaries. But then again, I was going through a lot last year, including an episode of negativity. I regretted the way I acted and what I said so I asked her for forgiveness in the Christmas card I sent to her.

But apparently, she must think that being a Christian doesn’t mean she has to forgive people, because she has not forgiven me. I have to accept this. At least I tried to mend fences!

But I also bring this up because one of my best friends is also a Christian, but she lives a life that is not exactly “Bible-approved.” I’m not going to say what it is here but it’s just that it’s not exactly something that can’t be fixed and yet it’s like fixing her situation is NOT happening and she continues to keep pushing the whole “I’m a Christian” thing like everything is fine. I love my friend and I won’t drop her under ANY circumstances. But I just can’t support her when she gets this way, because I know she is allowing something to continue that is a no-no in her religion but pushing herself as a person of this faith all the same.

This has been a difficult choice for me to make. I know religious hypocrisy when I see it and I just can’t cast a blind eye when it’s happening. It’s like asking someone to be okay with another person being bullied just because that person being bullied is gay. No, I am not okay with mistreating another human being!

I am the same way with myself. It is one of the reasons why I am no longer a Christian: I could never live by what the Bible instructs of its followers. Some things, yes, but not EVERYTHING. And it kinda requires followers to abide by all the rules and not just some of the rules. You don't get to pick and choose what parts of the Bible to follow. You gotta follow ALL the rules. Don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t kill, don’t commit adultery, don’t allow women to have any power over the husband, forgive others just as Jesus forgives you, etc. Ya know, that stuff. I refuse to be subservient to my husband – he and I are equals – so that’s one of the Bible rules I won’t submit to. (There’s also some other stuff but I won’t get into it here. But if anybody asks, I would discuss it!) Also, I personally feel that religion is an Earth-thing, and we are not of this Earth. Also, religion is being used to control people or justify murder. I really don't want to be a part of THAT crowd! I won't kill a person no matter what a religious book says to do, because I know in the end I must stand up before God to be judged. I don't want God to see me as a murderer. And I don't want God to see me as a hypocrite, either. That's why I walked away from religion. I would rather be a sinner than a hypocrite.

I understand that not everybody feels that way. I guess the people I mentioned above are okay with religious hypocrisy. It may bother me, but hey, they make their own choices in life. It's their life and not mine. Up to them how they live it. I still want them in my life and I still love them all the same. So even as my friends and family may be a hypocrite as far as their religion is concerned, I will not break ties with them. I am aware of when such a thing is going on, believe me. I have noticed it happening. But I’m not going to sever ties with them. I’ll still love them and support them when they need that support, just won’t be supporting their hypocrisy.

How to act around a mom who is shopping without her kids

For many moms, having a chance to buy groceries without the kids in tow is darn near impossible. Sometimes, there’s no choice: We gotta take the kids with us to the store. This is especially true when said kid is a baby and there’s no one else available to watch her. By some miracle, though, us moms (and dads, for the stay-at-home crowd) will be blessed with the gift of shopping without the kids. When that happens, there is one rule for everybody else around her: Stay the hell away.

We don’t really like it when a child is constantly tugging on our sleeve asking for every single thing in the store. We don’t really like it when the kids start fighting and it’s a judgment call on whether it’s worth it to try to finish buying food. We don’t really like it when our kids are climbing all over the cart, yanking EVERYTHING off of the top shelves, opening packages we haven’t paid for yet or running around the store.

And that’s just some of the “fun” we get to experience when we are shopping with our kids. Many people who work at grocery stores have many more horror stories of what happens when Mom shows up with children in tow.

For this reason, shopping without the kids is something we moms are starting to enjoy. A lot. It is actually a break away from home for many of us. This is especially true if the kids are on school vacation, if there’s no school or no other way out of the house to get away from the kids and be an adult again. Being able to shop for groceries without the kids is a blessing for us moms. It’s our sacred time.

So if you see a mom shopping without her kids, or if you are in the company of one, keep in mind that this is a Very Special Time that mom is enjoying. It’s the one time that mom can be alone with her thoughts. When she can think in complete sentences without being distracted by a screaming baby and the one time she can actually examine an item she is interested in buying instead of dropping it in mid-inspection to get a child down from a shelf he was climbing.

I know this because I am one of those moms. After many nightmares of shopping with the kids, I have come to value any chance I get to buy groceries by myself or even in the company of another adult. Having another adult around is nice because it allows me to have a grown-up conversation for once instead of talking about Minecraft, but that adult better not try to rush me through the experience or he will get his head bitten off by one Very Angry Mom. (Just ask my husband!)

But when I can shop alone, that’s even better. It’s the one time I can leisurely walk around, instead of running after a child. It’s the one time I can actually THINK about things without a child interrupting me every 5 seconds. It’s the one time I get to just “be me” out there in the world and look at lots of things I don’t normally get to see or try out in the confines of my home.

When shopping alone, I am not interested in conversations with random strangers. I am not interested in babysitting someone else’s child. I just want to be able to enjoy this one chance of solo time as an adult who is not rushed or distracted by children. This is especially true since I’ve been without my own transportation for 2 weeks and can’t exactly go wherever I want to whenever I want to, just to get out of the damn house. (Thank God the kids go back to school tomorrow!!!)

Grocery shopping without my kids is sacred time. It’s my “me time.” And a lot of people would do well to honor our space and let us cherish this small taste of freedom by keeping their distance and leaving us alone.

A fitness goal vs. a weight-loss goal

Around the middle of last year, I made some dietary changes because of a heart scare. I thought these changes would improve my health. I also decided that I needed to exercise more often. The exercising happened here and there, but not as often as I wanted it to. This was why one of my New Year’s resolutions for this year was to exercise every day. I want it to be a daily habit.

I am very happy that since I made those changes, I have not had any chest pains or heart problems since. Seriously, 6 months with NO chest pain has been pretty freaking awesome!

But today someone shared with me a “weight loss” tip. And while I appreciated the info (to eat 6 small meals a day instead of 3 regular meals), this made me think about how the changes I have made might be seen.

Without a doubt, I could stand to lose some weight. I know this. But my recent goals – to eat better and exercise – are not based on any desire to lose weight. They are completely based on my desire to get healthy and fit. Especially fit.

In my sporadic attempts to exercise in the past, I often ended up on the ground or hunched over, huffing and puffing. I know I am out of shape. I used to exercise all the time as a teen and more often as a young woman. That all tapered off after I had kids. I ran a bit here and there, but not for exercise. (Mostly to run after my kids, to catch a bus or to run to a building before they closed!) And, sure, I did calisthenics here and there. But nothing on a continual basis. Nothing constant. And I really DO want it to be constant.

But I’m just so out of shape! Ugh!

I don’t want to be out of shape anymore. I want to be physically fit.

Sure, losing weight would be nice. Dropping a few pant sizes would also be nice.

But losing weight or being skinny are NOT my goals. Being healthy and physically fit are my goals.

I mean, I look at the athletes on American Ninja Warrior and I think, Wow, those people are in shape. They are in prime shape. Top physical form.

I want to be in top physical form, too. That is my goal.

Not losing weight or dropping sizes. Those things are nice, sure, but not what I have my sights fixed on. I have my sights on being healthy and on being fit. I have fitness goals. And I think those are the kinda goals I’ll be more happier to meet.