Done having children!

So this morning, as I sat at the kitchen table reading the news on my phone, I came across an article by a dad of one child. This father had often been asked if he and his wife were planning on having more kids. And you know what? He’s tired of that question! So tired of it, in fact, that he actually gives the world at large the finger through his article detailing how hard it was for Child #1 to even come along and, thanks, but one kid is enough for them.

On one hand, I could relate to what the guy was going through. It’s like it’s not enough to have one kid. When you finally DO have one kid, everybody's pressuring you to have another. And another and another. I mean, it’s like we have to keep the babies coming. I have been so sickened with the media’s fascination (obsession?) with pregnancy, babies and pregnant celebrities. I say, enough already! Seriously, we need to stop pushing this whole “have babies, have babies” mentality on the young generation. The world is overpopulated as it is (and despite the MANY killings going on in this world and how it seems like we humans are trying to kill each other everywhere we turn, I STILL think the world is overpopulated!). I have been there. When I was childless, I was encouraged to get pregnant. After my daughter was born, I was encouraged to have more children. And I DID want more children but ONLY when the time was right. And even after Kid #2, there were happy thoughts circulating about Kid #3. But because of a health issue, that idea got dashed.

On the other hand, I also agree with this dad’s stance on the whole issue that NOT everyone in the world is going to be SO unhappy if they only have one child. For some people, one child is enough. A lot of people are HAPPY with just one child. Why is it so hard for some people to accept this? If someone has one child, don’t pressure them to churn out more! Seriously, it’s their life. They make their own decisions. We don’t know their stories or their situations. So leave it alone. You know?

I have friends who have only one child and never in the time that I have known them have they ever shared with me their sadness or disappointment over not having more kids. They seem to be happy to have just one child. I am happy that THEY are happy with their decision to just have one child.

Me, I am happy with two. I know when I was younger I dreamed of having a house full of children but life did not turn out that way. And you know what? I’m fine with it. Really! I am happy, even VERY thankful, for the two beautiful and healthy children that I have. I was lucky to even have the first one! (It took a long time to conceive my first child.) So, yeah, two is enough for me. I’m done having children and I’m happy with the ones that I DO have.

Personally, I don’t think it’s anybody’s business over how many children a woman or even a couple choose to have. It is NOT anybody else’s business! They are not the ones who have to conceive the child, carry it for 9 months, give birth to it then pay for everything related to raising a kid. So I think people need to just mind their own beeswax and instead appreciate the child or children that are already there.

Even if that health issue I had did not turn up, I would not want to give birth to anymore children in my 40s or beyond. The health of the egg starts to decline when a woman turns 40 and that increases the baby’s chance of being born with a deformity or sickness. I would not want to do that to a child. I am not so selfish as to wish a disease or some kind of organ problem on a helpless infant just so I could have another baby. I realize some women in their 40s or 50s have given birth to a healthy baby but that is a very rare case. It is not the norm. So I’m better off not having anymore children anyway. That ship has sailed! And I’m totally fine with that, too.